Acclaimed worldwide for his contributions to philanthropic causes and academic research, "El Guapo" Morland ( 1321 - ) is a graduate of Washington University in St. Louis. An aspiring diplomat, artisan, and businessman, his past accomplishments include chairing the bioethics sub-committee of the Winthrop-Knightsbridge Foundation, and serving as honorary head ringmaster for "Crazy Pete's Cosmic Carnival and Traveling Vaudeville Revue".
     In a misguided attempt to broker peace in the Middle East, Morland accepted the position of Chief Bricklaying and Confectionary Officer at Rave Wireless, a mobile software company based in New York City, and works there to this day. He has since discovered that all the frosted cinder blocks in the world cannot match the weight (figuratively) or tastiness (literally) of the human heart.      Previously, Morland had been hired by Vindigo in late 2001 as a scribe, chimney sweep and bootblack. Morland immediately made his impact felt. Company meetings and tribunals were properly recorded in shorthand, not one speck of soot lead to additional reporting of "Vindigo syndrome", and scuffed shoes were readily polished thrice daily, their exteriors gleeming anew.
     Prior to working at Vindigo, he spent 42 years as sous-chef at the prestigious Hotel D'Antonio, on Malta's posh north shore. From 1455 - 1960 he held a variety of posts, including a brief stint in the Ugandan people's army, heading its infamous "Sleeping Sickness" death squads, and a term as chief advisor to Czar Nicholas II.
     El Guapo is the recipient of countless accolades celebrating his boundless and unquenchable thirst for life, including the "First Annual Milkmen's Union Award for Outstanding Bravery in the Face of Adversity", and the Shogun's citation for obedience. A consummate playwright, historian, and mathematician, his latest play, "On the Fundamentals of a Cartesian Analysis of Thucydides' The History of the Peloponnesian War and its Effect on the Ottoman Empire : an Apology" has been awarded the coveted Ginther prize for excellence in the field of historical-mathematical plays (non-fiction). He currently resides with his wives, children (biological and adopted), and concubines on a 450-acre fortified ranch complex in Tiera del Fuego, Chile.
     Exalted as a demi-god by primitive fiefdoms and primal cultures around the globe, Morland continues to serve as a shining exemplar of Nietzsche's "übermench", personifying humanity evolved. His unrivaled brilliance exceeded only by his enigmatic eccentricity, he is available for speaking engagements, and will cater for an additional fee.