:: Footwear jibba Jabba ::

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

You know how somebody in your life has a pair of slippers based on a fictional character into whose warm, plush mouth you insert your foot? Think Tasmanian Devil.

I think a great new addition to this pantheon of novelty slippers would be Jabba the Hutt. Why?

Disproportionately large head/mouth. In order to cram your foot into Taz's mouth the rest of his head has to be scaled up accordingly. The result is a giant head the size of your foot, eliminating the possibility of including his body as well, unless you want to drag it behind you, and nobody wants to be reminded of James Byrd Jr. walking to the kitchen on Sunday morning to make eggs. Jabba's head and mouth comprise a much higher percentage of his total body mass, allowing the inclusion of a body - your toes would reach into the base of his tail. Plus there's added dietary realism (excluding the fact that we're talking about an entirely fictional character): he's serpentine enough that it's no stretch of the imagination to think he could detach his jawbone and swallow a small bantha. Your foot would be comparable in size given his shrunken scale.

Tapered body. Instead of having to deal with legs or other unwieldy appendages dangling off the end, Jabba's form reduces gracefully into a single tail, allowing for a cute, curly finish, not unlike elf boots.

The closest I could find was these Jabba socks. If it weren't begging for a lawsuit, I'd say we should make this happen.

Chained Carrie Fisher figurine optional.

Posted by morland @ 11:12 AM

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