:: Waxing and whining ::

Friday, September 30, 2005

Once I started using in-ear headphones, I couldn't go back to anything else. I had fairly high standards: they had to be portable enough to do triple-duty as a office/commute/home headset and feature sound quality at least an order of magnitude better than the lousy hiss coming from "ear-buds" (the term to me sounds like a euphemism for lobular nodules or a corn farmer's premature crop), the only other form factor matching the convenient size.

I procured my first pair in Tokyo a couple years ago (and was pleased as punch about my exotic purchase too, until I found I could buy the exact same model here without having to fly for 13 hours) and wore them until I wore them out. I ran out immediately and bought another pair, presently nestled snugly in my ear canals as I write this.

An unforeseen effect of in-ear headphones is paranoia. There's a little bit of general uneasiness as well, but that's to be expected as you are inserting little rubber mushrooms into a normally unobstructed orifice. No, the paranoia stems from the wax accruing on the interior, sound-emitting, portion of the speakers and its effect on their output. Every so often I will become convinced that my hearing is decaying as the songs or computer-generated Fibonacci tones I listen to daily become slowly muffled. What's worse, the effect is rarely symmetrical. While knowing since childhood that my right foot is very slightly larger than my left, it is only since using in-ear headphones that I've been forced to confront the possibility of lopsided hearing.

When I later pinpoint the muffling and reverse it by removing the wax build-up the paranoia is alleviated slightly, but not entirely. I am living in a body that produces ear wax asymmetrically.

Posted by morland @ 03:34 PM

:: Comments ::

Mike, if you ear wax "situation" develops into more of a concern please refer to this site:

http://www.tchain.com/otoneurology/disorders/hearing/wax2.html

p.s. Never write about ear wax again.

Posted by: B.B.S. Kaweesh on September 30, 2005 04:35 PM

Somebody ought to tell Dr. Glasses to wake the fuck up. The Churchlands and their fads! Descartes knew what the fuck he was talkin' 'bout. Listen to your homunculus, Doc- you might learn a thing or two!

Posted by: Grenergy on October 3, 2005 12:53 AM

Hello? Your best friend is an ENT. Do what my grandpa does and get a doctor to scrape that ear wax out with a tool. I'm sure you'll be grossly interested in what comes out.

Side note: In Kindergarden, I brought my dad into 'show and tell' to talk to the class about being a doctor. Everyone lined up and looked into his ear with an "Otoscope" (yes I had to look that up.) His ear was hairy. And no, it wasn't filled with clay.

Posted by: Joey Brooks on October 3, 2005 01:00 AM

I did not mean to imply I produced more than the average amount of ear wax.

I want to state unequivocally for the record that my wax production lies well within the distribution considered normal.

Posted by: morland on October 3, 2005 11:45 AM

dude, you should get an ear candling. what that link has to do with colon health is beyond my ignorant layperson capabilities. they're also not exactly a good thing to get. but i want your blog to be #1 under the search string colon health. or "colon health". or colon therapy would also be funny. colon.

Posted by: a superhero by night on October 4, 2005 12:50 AM

No, I've done the ear candling thing before. I think I hoped that my lack of hearing was due to an abnormal buildup of wax. I also was the kind of kid who used to pour a thin layer of glue on my hand and then peel it off, so the whole drawing ear wax out of my own ear was vaguely appealing. Long story short - small amount of wax = unsatisfying ear candle = unhappy choi.

Posted by: choistein on October 6, 2005 07:31 PM

your sudden and unexpected embrace of dualism saddens me. "the body [you] live in"? somewhere daniel dennett is crying. the churchlands gnash their teeth.

Posted by: dr. glasses on January 23, 2006 11:56 AM

I don't think you're in any position to know what is considered a "normal" amount of cerumen (that's "ear wax" to all you ignorant laypeople) production.

And shouldn't you say "the wax my body produces." Certainly you don't mean to imply that your intangible consciousness is the one responsible for wax creation. Fucking dualist. You have nazzed all over that venerable school of thought known as materialism.

Posted by: dr. glasses on January 23, 2006 11:56 AM

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