:: I can't wait to donate!!! ::

Thursday, March 31, 2005

It is customary for college graduates to receive mail from their alma mater soliciting fund donations or apprising them of the shiny happy changes going on at their former nest of matriculation. I received a questionnaire yesterday the purpose of which is to update personal information for some alumni database. According to this advanced system, I:

• Am simultaneously single, married, divorced, separated and widowed
• Am American Indian, Black American, Asian Pacific, Hispanic, White American, Other, and "Foreign"
• Am Brazilian (which I guess explains the "foreign" ethnicity)
• Was a member of the Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity
• Was a varsity letterman in cross-country
• Was the recipient of an engineering scholarship, a loan, a fellowship, and work/study aid
• Am married (see above marital status) to an unnamed spouse ten years my senior
• Am the father of three girls and one boy, with three different last names - the eldest being 22 - two of whom now attend the very same university as I did
• Am retired

While all of the above are erroneous, the form regrettably does not allow for corrections.

And so my legend grows...

Posted by morland @ 05:02 PM

:: Comments ::

It seems that I am also Brazilian, of all ethnicities, and married to a woman 2 years older than my father. I was a frat guy too, although I was in Delta Sigma Theta. I lettered in - get this- football. I have recently retired from being a medical student.

I have 4 beautiful children, all with different last names. 2 go to Wash U, and my daughter Lisa, who was born 7 years before I was, attended Northern Iowa University.

Well done, Wash U.

Posted by: dr. glasses on March 31, 2005 06:19 PM

Same shit came to me, except I forwarded all that Wash U mail to

Matthew Klein
321 Warwick Ave
Teaneck, NJ 06437

Posted by: on March 31, 2005 06:43 PM

same happened to me. my wife was born in 1957. we have 3 kids, one named Charles Wackenspeck. I was on Mortar Board.

Posted by: lw on April 1, 2005 09:53 AM

It's like those things you did when you were a kid. Pick all these numbers and names and then that determines your future, using a crude picking matrix. I always had 127 kids in those.

Posted by: a superhero by night on April 1, 2005 02:03 PM

MAybe it's just junkmail? Some (pathetic) company just got the names of grads and sent out the shit letters thinking "the info is so silly and erroneous that those [insulting noun] from WU will send us the REAL info, but the jokes on them! We'll make tons selling their lucrative details!"

Back when Hotmail really had spam issues, I observed that most of the internet university degree offers were from "U of W" or "W U". I figured that this was because it's the most common US college abbreviation and thus more likely to seem legitimate or familiar.

PS - In signing on to MD Consult, I gave my real email address - now I'm inundated with junkmail. Bastards.

Posted by: cyrus on April 1, 2005 06:28 PM

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