:: Wither, doldrums ::

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

If I could travel back in time just some three years, oh the lambasting I would give the younger me.
"Cool shoes," I, the younger, would say.
"Thank you," I, the elder would bashfully reply.
"And you've managed to become more handsome than I possibly imagin-" at this point I would cut him off with a firm backhand about the face, bloodying him and letting the dual tastes of iron and respect linger in his impudent mouth. Then I would impart to him some pearls of wisdom, amongst which would be this: summer vacation doesn't fade with academic pursuits, it merely atrophies and shifts its shape.

"You see, young lad, August has some terrible power to suck the energy out of even the staunchest type-A workaholic. Weekends become bloated, the hours of the business day dwindle to Francophonic levels, and vacations - holidays, sabbaticals, walkabouts, and rehabilitations (here I would too have inserted the plural form of 'hiatus', but it turns out to be 'hiatuses' and that's just not as sexy as 'hiati', which I was hoping for [in a cactus/cacti kind of way, which is sexy], but that's probably for the best since it would be confused with 'Haiti' and unsuspecting tourists might be lured to that infamous island nation beset by poverty and internal political turmoil only to find out that it is not as cathartic as their subconscious word association had led them to believe) - go forth and multiply.

"And this may shock you, you acolyte of sloth: you will loathe it. You will curse the thick cloud of lethargy as it saps the productivity of you and your coworkers. You will be mentally inert, a giant blemish on whatever your hard work, talent, and intellect may have gained you in the past, even neglecting your "blog" - don't ask, you'll find out what it means eventually. It will be your own personal Godfather Part III (from a production standpoint, not in terms of the plot)."

I'd leave it at that, and move on to discussing the coolest bands of the next three years (so that the younger me could bask in perpetual ahead-of-the-curveness) and then maybe where to find those killer kicks he liked so much (Zappos.com, btw). I would also counsel against losing the nicest umbrella he/I'd ever owned.

Left unspoken: how nice it is to return to an office alive again with clattering fingers and prattling lips. The joy of the resurgence of Something To Do.

Posted by morland @ 04:09 PM

:: Comments ::

While I agree that it's nice that summer is winding down...wait - I don't agree with that at all. What in the hell were you thinking man?

I give you a double F minus for this blog entry.

Posted by: Alex on September 7, 2004 04:55 PM

While I enjoy the nice weather and outdoor activities, I deplore the general corporate lethargy.

Posted by: morland on September 7, 2004 07:04 PM

choosing to stay inside your apartment and lay around watching the poseidon adventure even though it's absolutely gorgeous outside does not count as "corporate lethargy."

Posted by: dr. glasses on September 7, 2004 09:46 PM

jk mike. i luvv you.

Posted by: dr. glasses on September 7, 2004 10:46 PM

But I wasn't even complaining about that!

(and I want to add my comments don't necessarily pertain to my office, it's a general observation)

Posted by: morland on September 8, 2004 11:19 AM

i agree. this did suck. it's people like you who kill summer. thanks a lot.
in your effort to try to sound educated, your point got lost and now everyone thinks you're a summer Narc. Nice going, Narc.

Posted by: rob on September 8, 2004 01:47 PM

i'm still trying to figure out where last summer went. it perplexed me so much, in fact, that i basically missed this summer. but since you freakers live in a place where winter means brutal cold and ice falling from the sky instead of snow, i can identify with you people.

Posted by: the guy who lived in vail on September 8, 2004 04:14 PM

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