|
:: Super powers bandied about as complementary gifts for donating to your local Justice League during their annual pledge drive ::
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
$5 results in your choice of:
- Ear lobes unable to be torn from head
- Telepathic radish control (maximum of three radishes at a time)
- Ability to derive sustenance from commemorative lucite awards
- One mildly bioluminescent freckle
$10 results in your choice of:
- Impervious to intentional paper cuts
- Adjust SPF of any sunscreen by +/- 5
- Bake extra-delicious but extra-fattening sugar cookies
- Innate knowledge of wide range of line dances (U.S. southern region only)
$15 results in your choice of:
- Laminate at will
- Invisibly siphon away booze from private boxes at sporting venues (well liquor only, no top shelf)
- Attache to high-ranking League of Nations diplomat (trust me, for reasons I can't go into at the moment, this counts as a super power)
- Create no heat signature when submerged in oatmeal
Posted by morland @ 07:33 PM
:: Comments ::
$20 results in your choice of:
Ability to make that one gorilla at the zoo throw feces 8 feet farther
Ability to fleece coworkers into believing that you're the master of small talk at the water cooler using some proimitive Jedi Mind Control
One time ressurection of your blog (nice work by the way)
Limited use of the monkey touch sensation. Not particularly helpful, but monkeys are pretty fucking cool.
Ability to find that one shirt that Morland gave Susman from when they went to Europe, but the inability to clean it. You'll have to find a genie for that.
Posted by: the guy who lived in vail on August 18, 2004 11:46 PM
$25 results in:
Ability to proof read and spell check your comments on morland's blog.
Posted by: the guy who lived in vail on August 18, 2004 11:47 PM
$30 results in:
- a new urban legend of your choosing being adopted by society (applies to all societies outside of The Netherlands)
- the ability to use advance html things like bullet points
Posted by: cyrus on August 19, 2004 01:47 AM
- Post a comment -
« Whine-o's |
Main
| Play d'oh »
|
