M walked into the shop. It was raining. "May I help you?" The shopkeeper, one Mr. B, inquired.

M summoned hellfire. He knew even if the fire came (a 40% probability, or any D20 roll greater than 12) that Mr. B's skin was infused with hardened copper, and would not easily melt. He would have to inflict upwards of 40 mega-damage points for incapacitation.

Nothing happened. M became anxious. A small salty bead of sweat rolled down his temple and onto his oxygen filtration orifice. An audible gurgle ensued.

Mr. B's oily tone filled the room: "No doubt you have attempted to use black magic in my store. You will notice protective runes around the entrance which shall invalidate all such attempts." M's eyes shot from side to side, picking out what were indeed protective inscriptions on every door jamb. One was shaped like a seahorse. Another bore a startling resemblance to a political caricature of Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin, complete with Frito Bandito mustache and prominently-accentuated chin.

M spoke hesitantly as he began to undress. "I come bearing no ill will. I wish only to alert you that several large packages are en route to this address. I was hoping to brutally and slowly kill you in order to intercept the delivery."

"No offense taken. You are now my benefactor. Have some brie," Mr. B offered.

The two sat and enjoyed the fine cheese. Somewhere in the distance a man won the lottery. It continued to rain.

"Out of curiosity," Mr. B inquired, "how large are these packages? Sometimes, if shipments are too bulky for my store, I will provide an alternate address because my store is small and I have a wicked hernia."

M, now completely nude, laughed heartily, his ample belly shaking with each staccato giggle. "Well, I'd say they were no larger than a magazine or standard-sized unfolded 8.5 by 11 inch envelope."

Mr. B smiled. "Good, good. If they were any larger, I would request that they be delivered to the small Welsh tailor down the road, but since they are not, you may ignore this information."

Just then, the skylight shattered, and a herd of cybernetically-augmented bison fell through the opening. The prophecy was coming true...