:: Ever forward ::

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

A large part of maturity and adulthood can be traced to the shift in self-awareness from the frivolous to the relevant. Recognition is a vital precursor to enacting deliberate change, which if the movie Adaptation is to be believed (and let's face it, when your lead actor's past work includes Honeymoon in Vegas and Valley Girl, you make a strong argument for the legitimacy of life lessons imparted by your product) is the crux of human gravitas or something. Re-focusing this recognition - from the awkward self-consciousness of adolescent minutiae to broader behavioral patterns - returns more useful data. Since humans are completely rational decision-makers, basing their actions on the empirical alone, better data equals improved conduct. Always.

Here are two examples of things I noticed this weekend. I realized that Masters of the Universe (starring everyone's favorite Swedish M.I.T. Fulbright scholar / actor, Dolph Lundgren - who appropriately enough holds a "masters" degree in chemical engineering) contains heavy doses of homoerotic subtext, complete with a monomaniacal obsession on the part of Skeletor for He-Man bordering on lust, and even a whipping administered to a half-naked, very sweaty protagonist - "punishment" for his refusal to drop to his knees before the said-same villain (say, where do we usually keep skeletons anyway... oh, yes: in the closet). Also this weekend, I ate 2.5 hot dogs.

The first is an example of a frivolous observation. Aside from this entry and some good cocktail conversation, I will not get much mileage out of it, and it will likely have little bearing on my life. Not so with the second. This is an untenable hot dog consumption rate and out of a rational, prudent concern for my health it will be curtailed. Voila adulthood.

So what did self-awareness bring today? I realized I'm god-awful when it comes to business small-talk. Marketing, sales, business development folks - there are those with the talent to trade effortless platitudes and sundry pleasantries. I've seen them work. They drop laser-guided segues and have light-hearted bantering endurance worthy of a Kenyan marathoner. It's a valuable talent to have, and it eludes me.

Can I act upon this? Perhaps. At the very least, when a business partner casually mentions in the midst of a phone call that her teenager wants to attend NYU, next time I won't respond with, "Oh, really? Just like the Olsen twins. You know they turn 18 in less than two weeks. How about your daughter?".

That's what I call self-improvement. Well, that and setting up a legal defense fund.

Posted by morland @ 08:39 PM

:: Comments ::

How old is John's sister these days?

Posted by: dr. glasses on June 2, 2004 10:51 PM

These goddamn countdowns. Don't you people get it that each state/nation's age of consent determines when it's legal? 18 usually doesn't mean squat.

New York (where they will live): 17 Years
California (where they live now, maybe?): 18 Years

The key is to catch them on vacation so you can bone them where the age of consent is younger.

I don't really care about these two girls, I just want you people to realize that, if you look for the proper loopholes, you could already have done the deed.

Posted by: the guy who lived in vail on June 3, 2004 12:54 AM

not that any loser who is counting down will ever even get near those girls, unless it's for an autograph.

Posted by: the guy who lived in vail on June 3, 2004 12:57 AM

Two things:

1) Honeymoon in Vegas is underrated. It's good. Seriously.

2) I can't believe that you were an hour late to hang out last night b/c you were writing this blog entry (posted 8:39 - we said we'd meet up at 7:30/8:00).

Posted by: aruss on June 3, 2004 09:47 AM

you're right, it was quite critical that I arrive on time for an evening of drinking beer and playing xbox hockey.

Posted by: morland on June 3, 2004 11:28 AM

What could possibly be more crucial?

Posted by: aruss on June 3, 2004 06:04 PM

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