This morning I was once again reminded that the guy who lives next to me likes to listen to hip-hop. That's cool. He plays his stereo very loudly. That's not cool. The bass resonates through my walls. I'd like him to stop, but I don't like confrontation, so I haven't said anything to him about it. Yet. My initial plan was to get to know the guy first. I figure once we're homeboys, then I could just casually mention it sometime. " ... Yeah, I can definitely relate to your point about bitches and fancy cars. Been there. By the way, dog, could you turn your music like way down when you play it? Maybe even don't play it all? That would be dope. Also, when you do play it, could you rap along to it just a little less forcefully? And by that I mean maybe don't scream the words at the top of your lungs so much. And I was just wondering—are you rapping directly into the wall when you do it or ...? Oh. So, you have a megaphone pointed at the wall? That makes sense." He'll get the hint, we'll both chuckle, and then engage in some kind of elaborate handshake. Sometime later he'll have me over for a 40 or something. We'll talk about all kinds of things: like how we're both skinny white guys who probably have never been in a gang or even near a gang, but how one of us is working on it, starting with his carefully selected wardrobe. I'll lend him a bandana, he'll give me one of his extra fake AK-47s. Problem solved. It'll be great.

That was my initial strategy. Because, I figured you can't have your first interaction with your neighbor be about asking him to turn down his music. That would set a bad precedent. It would sew seeds of resentment. And that equals louder bass, more passionate rap-a-longs, and no chance for elaborate handshakes. The thing is, in the four months I've lived in my apartment, MC Neighbor and I have not really run into each other at all even though I'm in apartment 21 and he's in 22 (the more palindromic one). We've passed each other on the stairs a total of four times. That hardly gives us an opportunity to be down with each other. Because I've seen him so infrequently, when I have run into him (say, the last two times) I think I've overdone it with the friendliness. (MC Neighbor, going up the stairs: "Hey." Me, going down the stairs: "Hey! What's going on? How are things? I like the gold tooth. Is that new?") I don't mean to be disingenuous. I think it's more that I've built up the plan in my head and tried to force it too much. So, instead of coming off like a tightass or a tough guy, I'm sending more of an "I'm going give you a pamphlet about something cosmic next time we meet" vibe.