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:: Cross-wired ::
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
David Cross reviews the hottest, newest video games to hit the market.
Are you in the market for a hot new videogame? Then preorder Hipster Bash, a massively multiplayer online role-playing game that lets you team up - online, in your apartment - with other lonely hipsters across the country. Armed with a magical sneer and a bottle of absinthe, you journey from Los Angeles' Silverlake district to Williamsburg, in Brooklyn, stopping briefly in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood. Along the way, you battle other hipster clans à la The Warriors and collect as many Hater pills as possible. Special cheats hidden under your longboard include faux hawks that quickly turn into regular mussed-up hair, the ability to secrete noxious oils from your unwashed skin, and the Hipper-Than-Thou Ray, which blasts opponents with obscure musical references and condescension until they're reduced to a quivering mass of egoless flesh. The group that arrives in Brooklyn with the most disaffected mannerisms wins. Extra feature: Trade in your heroin addiction for cash from your parents! I mean, making fun of hipsters is like beating Stephen Hawking in a competitive lambada dance-off, but still I have to give kudos for a job well done.
Posted by morland @ 12:28 PM
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