:: Mistified ::

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

An open letter to the man walking beside me this morning who spat insouciantly forward, not turning or lowering his head in the slightest, unconcerned that a south-westerly crosswind would propel a trailing mist towards me, causing small flecks of his saline spittle to thickly coat almost my entire face, an effect not unlike the salty spray of the Pacific Ocean caressing my visage whilst craning over a ship's bow during whale-watching trips as a young boy, save for the heightened risk of communicable disease:

Dear Sir,

You. F---ing. A--hole.

Sincerely,
Michael

Posted by morland @ 02:22 PM

:: Comments ::

I don't think that you can get more gonorhhea.

Why dash out some of the letters? You've used those words before...

Posted by: the guy who lives in vail on October 21, 2003 06:45 PM

Good point. Why the self-imposed censorship? Mighty purveyor of FCC ineffeciency, do you yield to their moral subjegation?

Posted by: Al on October 21, 2003 08:31 PM

maybe it's like wheel of fortune. when we guess certain letters, he puts them up.

Posted by: the guy who lives in vail on October 21, 2003 08:33 PM

Me: I'd like to buy a vowel. 'U', Pat.
Morland (as Pat Sajak): Yes, 1 'U'.

Posted by: the guy who lives in vail on October 21, 2003 08:34 PM

I have this forboding feeling that one day, somehow, my parents will read this site. And for some reason, despite all those half-naked drunken pictures of me I have this weird fear that what they would find most reprehensible is the swearing. So I try to self-censor, but it doesn't always work.

Posted by: morland on October 21, 2003 08:41 PM

Michael, this is your father. I recently happened upon your site, and I must say that I was somewhat disappointed. Not by the raucous partying depicted in the many photographs, nor, indeed, by the foul language occasionally employed (despite your best efforts, I'm sure) in the course of the commentary. No Michael, I'm really upset about your seeming disregard for our nations Copyright laws and your attempt to undermine them with a steady steam of thoughtful argumentation and a trickle of irony. For shame! Have you and that foul Lessig no regard for the many record executives and set painters whose very livelihood was threatened by the narrowly averted entry of some of our most beloved national symbols into the filthy swamp of the so-called 'public domain'? I could overlook simple hedonism or even deviant sexuality, but what kind of American is against Mickey Mouse! Presently, I am openly weeping in anticipation of your mother's reaction.

Best Always,

Your Father

P.S. Have you encountered the delightful British import 'Are You Being Served'? Simply delightful. I highly recommend a foray into its intricate but never heavy handed deconstruction of the class relations of the English peoples.

Posted by: Mr. Orland on October 23, 2003 11:23 AM

- Post a comment -

« A startling revelation! | Main | Bright lights indeed »