:: I saw the news today, oh boy. ::

Friday, August 08, 2003

The jet lag is not as bad as I was led to believe, but is still in some ways inconvenient. Take, for instance, my inability these past few days to sleep past 6:30. Lots of people wake up this early, but usually because it's necessary for whatever morning ritual constitutes preparation for arriving at their occupation with reasonable punctuality. I, however, now have a surplus of time and don't know exactly what to do (suggestions not welcome). One beneficial mitigating tactic is walking to work, which is nice, even in the deplorable climes of late.

This morning I pulled out the big gun: television. There's no better way to kill time. And not normal killing either: it uses a sandpaper garrote and slowly chokes the life out of time while it holds time's face up to a mirror so time can see what it looks like when asphyxiating. Then it eases off, giving time the fleeting hope that it might make it through the whole escapade alive. But TV's a rat bastard without remorse or regret, a cold killing machine sent back in time to aide the rise of the machines. Just when time thinks it has a chance, television whips out the soldering iron, and time realizes it's only going to live long enough to experience its own little private Burning Man festival (which it turns out takes several hours - television gets off on this). As if that weren't enough, TV then makes it look like a suicide (don't ask).

Anyway, has anyone watched "Headline News" lately? They had an interview with Arnold Schwartzenegger (captioned "Running Man" - 'cause he's running for governor of California, and he was in that movie, "Running Man"... get it? You have to move pretty quickly to keep up with these mass-media types, so don't feel bad if it's a little over your head) which was so much more than a fluff piece. I mean they were asking some penetrating, hard-hitting questions, and when Arnold gave responses that might be considered evasive they kept pressing and pressing until he eventually broke down and wept silent tears of torturous anguish. They'd obviously done their research, bringing up some of the legal quandaries and moral issues at the center of the whole gubernatorial recall campaign. Arnold, who's no slouch in his own right when it comes to constitutional law (J.D. from Yale: first in his class) looked positively flummoxed by the anchor's deft inquiries!

Ah, must I mask the horror of reality with blatant lies?

Yes, I must. If you had seen it, you would be delusional too.

Posted by morland @ 11:15 AM

:: Comments ::

Arnold has a posse.

Posted by: #47 on August 8, 2003 12:51 PM

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