:: Pie in this guy ::

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Humankind is mired in a paradoxical dichotomy of love and fear when it comes to technology. Witness the go-go affection for all things shiny associated with the late 90's versus various incarnations of neo-luddite expression ranging from pulp movies (The Terminator et al) to riots by displaced and disenfranchised workers at a newly-automated assembly line. This is an intuitive observation - but it does touch upon my main point: androids would probably have a clear advantage when it came to pie-eating competitions.

On one hand, I think we, as a species, have a compulsion to see just how much pie could be consumed in one sitting, but, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, we are afraid of letting this urge lead to our downfall (i.e. having our throne at the top of the pie-eating hierarchy supplanted by our own creations). How would we react to seeing an automaton designed by our very own hand consume far more pie in a mere minute than any biological organism would have any hope of eating in a decade? Would we feel overjoyed? Awed? Scared? Would this machine's artificial makeup mitigate its ability to elicit pride from its fleshy progenitors?

I think we should love and cherish these mechanical masterpieces, but not unconditionally; they are as much a product of us and our ethos as their squishier brethren (you might know them as "children"). We must give them leeway, but should they become sufficiently obnoxious and disobedient, they deserve to be punished. Perhaps revoking their pie-eating privileges would serve to put them back in line (but we should also be wary of them turning against us, usurping our power, and consuming us, much like their beloved pie, in an apocalyptic orgy of chaos and mechanical hedonism).

Regardless, just try to imagine the rate at which they would be able to eat all that pie. Think of the possibilities!

Posted by morland @ 04:18 PM

:: Comments ::

Are we really at the top of the pie eating heirarchy? I've never seen an elephant say, "I ated too much pie." But I have heard a man say it. Perhaps our urge to create mechanical masterpieces stems not from a desire to see "how much" is possible in general, but instead to push the limits that we, as a species, are capable of breaking. And that's just silly. Peace and happiness do not lie in desire for what is always beyond one's reach. Contentment lies with the elimination of desire and the attainment of oneness with the universe.

And that's the way it was run.

Posted by: Alexis on January 21, 2003 09:32 PM

You type too much.

"Humankind is mired in a paradoxical dichotomy of love and fear."

paradoxiacal: A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true.

dichotomy: Division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions.

their combination: redundant

Posted by: Al on January 22, 2003 03:08 AM

I don't think that's redundant. Something paradoxical need not contain two parts, so using "dichotomy" adds specificity.

Posted by: morland on January 22, 2003 08:39 AM

CALL GUINESS!

Posted by: Alex on January 22, 2003 09:40 AM

And furthermore,

"...but, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, we are afraid of letting this urge lead to our downfall"

You imply incorrectly that Icarus was afraid. In fact, what lead to his downfall was lack of prudence. He did not listen to the words of his father:

"Icarus novam libertatem amabat; volavit celerius quam aquila, sed pater eum monuit: “noli volare adversus solem: calor ceram solvet.” sed Icarus non audivit; sol alas destruit, et Icarus in mare cecidit prope insulam quae Icaria hodie nominatur."

Posted by: Who you callin Bitch? on January 22, 2003 10:12 AM

fear of repeating Icarus' imprudence. was worded poorly. why the hostility?

Posted by: morland on January 22, 2003 10:18 AM

Come on Morly, I know the only reason you even wrote this blog was so you could use the title "Pie in this Guy."

You're definitely "Punnin' on Empty".

Someone kill me.

Posted by: nate on January 22, 2003 11:29 AM

excuse me, while I kiss this pie

Posted by: morland on January 22, 2003 12:04 PM

Verbosity leads to confusing, inarticulate things.

Posted by: Alex on January 22, 2003 01:00 PM

It's pie time you cut this out.

Posted by: nate on January 22, 2003 02:33 PM

pie me a river.

Posted by: josh on January 22, 2003 02:35 PM

give piece a chance

Posted by: morland on January 22, 2003 03:53 PM

lucy in the pie with diamonds.

Posted by: Alex on January 22, 2003 04:51 PM

apple pie -- no, wait. dammit.

Posted by: Josh on January 22, 2003 05:51 PM

I think that your whole argument is lacking here, morland.

Why would an andriod eat pies in the first place? Androids do not need sustinence in the form of human-food. You seem to think that androids would just intrinsically want to eat a pie in a pie contest. I don't buy it. Where would said pies go? I don't think that most androids would have a stomach. It would serve no purpose. There most likely wouldn't be much of a place for pies to go. A stomach a waste of space for an android. Plus, Meringue probably isn't good for an android.

These androids would probably be forced to participate in such an event. You commie. Making androids do things against their will. have you no compassion for androids?

A cyborg, on the other hand, would be a most formidable opponent. Half man, half robot. Now there's a challenge!

Posted by: the guy who lives in vail on January 22, 2003 09:41 PM

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