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Dom and Jonnell's wet and wild wedding
Bryan and Paola hitched, Puerto Rican style
Trip recap: the cold hard figures
It's a very famous scene and it's famous because of its writing
A short happy visit to Vanuatu
Expedition to the Top End
Sydney in summer
Cities of unusual autonomy
Thailand, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mobs
Vietnam (Banh Mi casa es su casa)
Approximately four degrees of longitude per day
Because foresight isn't foresight unless you yell about it
Semi-annual reader update
Retracing one's steps
Armchair August arches
Mixmas in July
Now if only MTV would do the same for The State
Good to see Boston was aesthetically depressing back then too
Knowing where I stood on things
Live action and delightfully free of Breckin Meyer
Nuthin' but a T thang
Viva la revolution around the sun
Black and white and read less often
Overdue pictures from Hong Kong
Santa Claus Pub Crawl 2007
Trivial things I did not know about Europe before moving here
Troubles in Broadband
For the record I happen to mostly agree with FSJ
Weekend roller coaster part two: Maida Vale Mêlée
Weekend roller coaster part one: an open letter to the guy who stole my laptop
Settling in ever so slightly
My life outside this digital cage
From immigrant to emigrant
Every hog has his day
A message from your host
Dropping some knowledge
Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to the Annual Convocation of the Brethren of Horizontally Striped Polo Shirts
Because Pavement would have been too obvious of a choice
Canine cuteness rampage
Living in the now
Another Bad Creation
Erections for the rich
Ghost on the machine
You're the dog now "dog"
Open letter to the music community
I can see through time
Potential corporate mergers evoking early 1990's D-list celebrities
Three birds via FedEx are worth one in the hand
On my blacklist right now
ULTIMATE HOMONYM BATTLE: ESOTERIC EDITION
Streets of Baltimore
Footwear jibba Jabba
Columbus for a day
What he meant was: Coney Island is actually a peninsula
Oughta be in pictures
A million to yuan
Best quote from a language student heard last night better suited to an anger management workshop
Fun fact of the day
The sad state of headline punnery
West end weekend
My life is mostly different from Academy Award-winning actor Morgan Freemen, but not entirely
Very kinky data / the kind you won't take home to momma
Right next door to hell
School spirited away
Bhagavad Giterdone, chapter 11, verses 31-33
Rebel without a coat
Meditations on cable television
In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of the economically disadvantaged
What if Tom Ridge adopted Breckin Meyer?
Partition functions poorly
The Death of Francis Bacon
Whereto have ye fact-checkers gone?
Doppler 2 x 10^15
Earth girls are easy
Turn-ons: long walks on the beach...
Least memorable moments of 2005
**MORLAND WORLD TOUR 2005/2006**
The Dreyfus affair
Some call it scarendipity
Our God, who art in heaven, and who art totally the best
On the road to salvation, there's a wee speedbump called the Rapture
Corner (office) case
NASCARing and sharing
Letting loose in the 'cuse
From the "interesting to two readers" dept
Three observations from the DigitalLife conference
Coffers and quaffers
Hollands in October
Waxing and whining
The humcanny valley
Shutter to think
Sam, Kaysie, KC
Fun with Venn diagrams
Tanks for nothing
Do people drive more professionally in a Mercedes than a Toyota?
Exclusive behind-the-scenes coverage
Kick the canyon
In brief: sublet available
Introductory paragraphs of selected presidential biographies, amended to include their hypothetical contraction of dysentery
One lateral move, one vertical move
Big smile country
Apple-orange hybrid still not ready
If man is five...
Corporate web sites with incongruously hilarious abbreviated, acronymic, or initialized URLs (addendum)
The temporary age of 26
Blue sky project
Please stop using the phrase "nuclear option"
Titles of Prospective Keynote Addresses for the Annual "National Convention of American Monosodium Glutamate Producers"
A nice day for a white wedding
Found in the course of recreational reading
My Tipping Point
In a post-apocalyptic world marriage would take on added importance
Do you vaunt the Mayflower or Alamo?
Be amen-ist to society
How to be just enough of a smartass during jury selection as to ensure dismissal without risking a charge of contempt
Not coming to a chest near you
In which I use dark humor as a defense mechanism
William Barrett Graves
Free geocoding thanks to Google
On the beat
Subtext: I am a reluctant badass
As seen everywhere...
To each according to his sneeze
The dead see scrolls
Not pictured: Morland in suit
Bittorrent: measuring self-worth made easy
I can't wait to donate!!!
Corporate web sites with incongruously hilarious abbreviated, acronymic, or initialized URLs
Nights of the round table (cont.)
Nights of the round table
Cookies and taxes
In good company
My three least enjoyable work-related transit memories in increasing order of annoyance
An alternate interpretation of the lyrics to "My Boyfriend's Back" by The Angels
Also fleet o' foot
Fleet o' foot
No really, his full name was Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg, I'm not making it up
The bear minimum
Hey you - stop all the downloading
Spice up your routine epiphanies with a little imagination!
Permit me this moment of sincere, very un-funny, navel-gazing
Imagine the main course
Talk legal to be, baby
Summers of my discontent
What a country!
I do-thousand five
Putting the rash in white trash
On the politics of academia, a vigilante in paradise, and micro-patronage
One flew over the cocci's nest
Giving cars the boot
A Modest Proposal
Readers: As per this entry
He knew that the weblogging would be a stone's cold gas
When Rufus said that Wild Stallyns' music would align the planets and allow meaningful communication with all forms of life, terrestrial and extra-terrestrial, he was lying and I can prove it because my tapeworm is a prophet.
Wireless broadbandied about
Their products are your final solution
Living in a police state of mind
You are links and I am a robot
Pushing the hard cell
A feud good men
[ ] Feast [x] Famine
Time to pay the toll-house
With apologies to Messrs. Costello, Wilson, and Waits
Rejected Video Game Idea: Deadbeat Dad Tamagotchi
Lines I thought about saying but didn't because of not wanting my coworkers to think I'm celebrity-obsessed
Some assorted media and miscellany from my hiatus:
Not to overstate things...
Double-crossing the finish line
Stem sell sold
Election venting continued
Mistaking a sea change for a lake change
All you needle is love
Man. Myth. Manifesto.
I'm an excellent walker
Morland.theoretic.org has the number one-rated guest showerhead in all the land
The cider donut rules
My weekly non-work schedule
Prison tat's not finished
A plot to die for
Thar she blows
Solution to global warming by Morland and coworker
Pot of woe
Instant oatmeal, messaging
A short poem about a mosquito, being harried thereby, and the hollow regret of interspecies conquest
I can't stanza no more
When I had 17, it was a very good year
I hope my tasty cells were to die for
Once more up the tower, elegantly and low
And some wolves masquerade as consciences of politicians
And you can tell everybody that this is your song (for a price)
A eulogic haiku regarding the disposal of the two remaining bean-bag chairs in my office
The circle of libation
Putting the "fund" in "fundamentalism"
Failing to check myself, I proceeded to wreck myself
A grasp of the permeable boundary between writing and nonsense
Mr. Holland's onus
It's "You've Got Mail" for the 00's
This pun's for hire, even if it's just stance-n' in the dark
Super powers bandied about as complementary gifts for donating to your local Justice League during their annual pledge drive
The sum also rises
Continued consequences of a Dry July
Flow my actions, the policeman said
Death wishful thinking
Step 3: The distilled essence of blogging, in which Morland pontificates on pop culture
Step 2: back to basics
Admittance: the first step
Some links as the coverage of the acquisition (slowly) ramps up
Things that go bump
Silence the demagogue and strife will cease
Goodbye Dry July
Madison ave strays
When I get writer's block, I get it something wicked
Good to know the smear campaign isn't working
Hirsute upper lip
Speaking of meta...
When acroyms attack
They paved over pasta man and put up Pilates
Peace of cake
Crown thy hood
Where the streets have no shame
Catch you if I can
Morland first annual award for best title of a fictitious food blog primarily concerned with the ordinarily disparate culinary topics of sushi and dairy products
If party conversations were spiced up with that old-time religion
Come flyer with me
Don't doubt harder, doubt smarter
One pill makes you larger
Chicago your own way
Jail bait and switch
Can you take me hire?
The meeting minutes
Obsessive-Compulsive Politico-Dichotomous Syndrome AKA "Brooks' Disease"
An excerpt from "The Coming Semantic Ragnarok", a novella by 'Archangel' Coldsmith Briggs III.
Minutes don't pass
Discourse, of course
A dark and stormy knight
How is this night different from all others?
"An Exaltation to the Merits of Austerity" or "NERD!!!!"
RAMBO (Right Aside Manhattan Bridge Overpass)
Stan in the place where you work
Just like summer camp
Can't go wrong with the Groucho mask
Thomas Friedman gave me skin cancer
Black and blue and read all over
The business cycle
The great escapism
The second entry in a row about fandom
Zukünftig bin ich der Robotermeister
Remind me: what century is this again?
Call 'em as I RNC 'em
Better me than you
Google Google on the wall...
Gash on delivery
And stay off my lawn!
Aww... the self-replicating gray goo brought you flowers!
A long, short story
RIAA'd em and weep
The verve of some people
Hand of the god that bit you
Birthdays was the worst days
Alternate realities I may or may not envision frequently
The Skilling fields
One pill makes you[r chances of suffering a severe myocardial infarction] smaller
The grass is always redder
Lien on me
Blog post ZZD
How yesterday would have differed were I a voracious but barely functional user of:
411 on 4/1
Link to Link, also: links
Continued fun with QIS
Kot in the act
Half a loaf of dread
War of the words
A trip, then fall, down memory lane
Under the hoodwink
Gonna make you fret
Hot off the gullet
Tag, you're lit
The chicken, the
Proof of Sale
Man. Myth. Moral.
Feed me, see more
Free culture talk... not free: $25
You may choose any candidate as long as it is Putin
Man. Myth. Morbid.
An unfortunate confluence of topics in which I'm interested
A part-raving work of collaborative genius
Wow guys, welcome to 2002
Morland solves all societal ills in under sixty seconds.
IP threats in mirror may be close than they appear
The report that this report is false is true
Dignity of a dignitary
Every cloud has a grey lining
Have you heard about this item you brought to my attention?
The free music is one hell of a drug
Putin on the fritz
Q.E.D. for QIS
Sweet child o' mime
My new outdoorsman technique is unstoppable
Now hiring: food tester
Slippery when hep
Demagogue me with a spoon
Come on, feel the noize
Peaceful, easy editorial
Automaton for the people
No, honey! That magazine meant nothing to me, I swear!
Y tu falafel, tambien
In America, first you get the sugar...
Ruminations of a workin' man
Grammy blog Pollack-stizz. So best.
Standing mea culpa
Mommas, don't let your sons grow up to be travel agents
Fun with animated GIFs
Additional quasi-subversive business antics
You ask me if I have a god complex...
"Exhortations to a more enlightened and rigorous public discourse as regards Wal-Mart", or "Wal-Mart: suck it"
Sphere of influence
It's all about networking
A disturbing lack of foresight leads to a disturbing lack of hindsight
A weekend of glazed eyeballs
The saloon-keeper's harsh justice
What's the matter with kids today?
Copyrights encroaching on facts
Paranoid fortune cookie translations
Providence favors my undertaking
Miller: rantings and ratings
One bad Mudda
Less a stream than a rivulet, but still nice
Show me your bellybutton
An end to sorrowful adjectives
Dwindling class by themselves
I know why the caged karaoke participant sings
Are you being served?
Sketch comedy, sketching networks
Welcome to trite realization night
Fate kindly puts me in my place
Feel the self-loathing
Yay, more bonfires
I keep a priory (comparatively)
The irrepressibility of human nature
Everybody wants to get down like that
Air record release party
How much is that cyborg in the window?
Union of the State
Curses to you, adulthood
It's officially "link barrage" day
Build your own maglev train
Plus it ends in "-igo"
It's only temporary
Lessig on SCOTUS
Hitchin' a ride on the CTA
Welcome back Kelvin
Act II: more faults
Know your umlaut
Where do all the pigeons die?
Because the original Avalon wasn't such a good idea either
Some morning links
Son of Patriot Act
To rePod or not to rePod?
More work musings
Everything you ever wanted to know about taboos, but were prevented by societal norms from asking
03 -> 04
I think what's really appealing about a post-apocalyptic scenario is that the worst is over
I didn't know her, but she started up a conversation point blank.
Use your perforated sense of self-worth as cheesecloth
I was wrong, so wrong
This blithe humiliation of the machines will not stand
A response to morland.theoretic.org's open appeal
An open appeal from morland.theoretic.org
Dick Clark carries our sense of temporal certainty on his mortal shoulders
The Marquess Takes it to the Rim: a short story by morland
Reason: my anti-rant
Movie with Kevin Costner and little boy
Flying the Koop
Oh, like that's some sort of revelation, Mr. Bloggypants
Mind the gap
Reversion to childhood desires but with adult freedoms equals
Kid's still got it
Sometimes I fear Ibsen wasted his time
Max Weinberg, millionaire
People are afraid to merge
The twelve days before Christmas
Gates of wrath
CDs make bad gifts for kids
On the perils of entering the laggard's den
Here are some random thoughts:
All flight long (a.k.a easy like cold November rain)
The vacation that wasn't there
The O.C. is the Dallas of our day, as Dallas was The Tempest of its day
The little things
Some progress, but still half debilitated
More mobile griping...
Fortress of nertitude
The global unifying effects of customer resource management: spreading the hate
Sprint PCS has absconded with eight hours of my time, my social life, and my already paltry dignity.
Some random pictures from the past seven days
Out of the loop
Darkness of ignorance begone!
On the trappings of stability
Camera-phones don't steal movies - people steal movies
No man is an aisle
Oh to be a diseased quadraped!
I am magnanimous
Please welcome moblog
Time and dime again
The mark of the feast
Lack of interest in interest
Groundbreaking new marketing theory: sex sells
One of these things does not belong
80's retro craze sweeps national politics!
Club of jacks
For it was raining and I was bored
The seemingly prescient nature of ranting
Brooks does shopping
Biting and incisive issues
Prelude to the climax of the best play I could conjure while vacationing from sobriety at 3am
The importance of being corporeal
Crepes of wrath
The firery forked tongue of the solar serpent
Shutter to think
Kidrobot is a candy store
Casting a long shadow
Third time's a charm?
March boldly towards consolidation!
The immolating spinach harbingers a time of great and searing isolation
They live to server
Wireless south of the parallel
"Who's hot? Who's not?" this week in Norse mythology
I hope they brought enough for everyone
The costume of god
How to go from hero to jackass in 60 seconds
Party like it's 1984
I guess it's crazy link day
It's my present
Calling all carriers
Starving all the way to the bank
Dare to keep kids offline
Even better than the real thing
Nun's the word
Bright lights indeed
A startling revelation!
Out to Launch
Pug-lic indecency (alternate title: Shitzu Sympatico)
An evening on the town!
The Inconceivably Trite Story of the Life of Dr. Eldred Q. Spanning, and its Relevance to Nothing in Particular
I'm a little rusty, but...
Let me hear both sides
Can't copyright it as is? Transmogrify it!
How about a nice slice of prize?
It takes a lobby of millions to hold us back
Kidney market failure
Publish and perish
Guilt is for the feeble
File sharing as cancer
Societal mood ring
Lurking in the river house in MA
Be ye aware?
A different angle
I enjoy serenity
Not a laborious experience
Just Blaine silly.
All Mob things must come to an end
The old, deaf, grey lady
Come fly with me.
Workers of the world, unwind!
Back in the high life again
Requisite blackout post
I saw the news today, oh boy.
Shirts and giggles
Beating the path of Basho
Brief update - not very amusing
The life connected
The slow humble resignation of the wristwatch
Imposing my will on paper and plastic
You're in great peril.
Just say blow
What becomes of the broken-parted?
Sound of spy-lens
Don't you think?
Slice of life
Practice what youth preach
Commercial breaking it down
Chamber music to my ears
Mob better blues
The other shoe has dropped
The dullest title in the world
A dry eye in the house
Mao you like me now?
Don't ever fry yogurt
I need new shoes.
It may not be...
Ca, c'est fou.
Do office drones dream of electric dogs?
A Saturday night on the town with Grant
Nihilistic and loving it!
Targeting the fatalistic demographic
What's the chatter with kids today?
On this episode of "As Consolidation Approches"
Eating it, indeed.
Come to my office. Make money. Play foosball.
Lessig is more
Deregulators... mount up.
Guise gone wild
Head, shoulders, Neez, and toes.
I am Bic Pentameter.
A view to a chill
Biking the hand that feeds you
Third time's a...
The U in publishing
A perk of working for a mobile app developer
When acronyms attack
Non Mea Culpa
Heart of coal
Nothing says fan-friendly like "subpoena"
The short happy day of Francis MacMorland
Wrestling with the issues of our time
Slouching towards Kafka
Show me the sunny
Rain of terror
Statute of Liberties
Digital Millenium Copyright Absurdity
He can't be wrong all the time
Shiny, happy, self-encapsulated people
Blaze of glory
Sparkling clean and loving it!
Won't you ping my neighbor?
Embrace your inner Seinfeld
Dare to Dane
Hustle and Bustle
Red roses for me
An exercise in morland superiority
Punnin with the devil
Botanical Garden of Eden
Very good way to tell hard info
Happiness is a warm pun
Blather, rinse, repeat.
What's up dock?
Rationalizing the camera again
As seen on Google
Get the lead out
In the red
The giving daylights
Skag to riches
Wasting away in Burritoville
Short and stout
The right guff
The picture library grows!
The reality of TV
Don't be that guy
Pie in this guy
Room and Board(ing)
Odor in the Court
I'm game for that
Success of the Amazon
Perils of Amazon
And the insensitivity award goes to...
Happiness is a warm electron gun
Quiz show of faith
So desu ne
The right foot.
And I was just getting to know 2002
02 -> 03
Wide open spaces
Blue in the face
Rest in show
This statement is false.
You've got a friend in Sheets
I'm outta heeeeeeere
Quaking in my boots
Full of humor, that is!
Bring me the soothsayer
Smite boredom! Lance him with prose!
365 in the working life of
Calm, blue ocean.
Sisyphus was the father of us all
The only thing from which we should abstain is pop-corn journalism
Geese migrate, so why not me?
That tree is really far away.
Brings back memories of freshman year at college
Oh god, not another self-referential posting...
If you can't go home...
By popular demand...
Let the mocking commence.
Then what the hell does the wardrobe represent?
Final Entry from Comdex
"Cuticles" is a misnomer
KS is OK
The Onion brings tears of sentimentality.
Comdex Day 1
They searched my bag. I
Schadenfreude is the new abstinence
Squares are people too
More annoying tales from my slumber
Shelter from the storm
The Semantics of Paddles and Plastic
Rent rant / Rent vent
License to (be) ill
In the spirit of Philip K. Dick...
Hawaii Fryve O
Beast of burden
They tried to kill me
Advertising: ce n'est pas tres cool
What time is it?
The triumphant return of Herr Samuel Coleman "Fats" Brown
The Sound of Botany
Et tu, morland?